Things I have learned about Thai's

So I'm still working on the final post about teaching in Thailand, but in the meantime my friend Rob has been writing a series of Facebook notes about the Thai's with input from our ATI class. They're a fun and enlightening read, but keep in my mind that they are written by a bitter, sarcastic Englishmen who describes his favorite activity as "being negative."

Okay so here's what i have learnt about the Thais over the past few weeks - feel free to add more if you feel I've left anything out. I love the Thai people, but they really can be very strange sometimes........

• 1) Thais cannot tell the time - there are 4 systems for telling the time, some of which depend on which region you are in. Their inability is shown by their sense of timekeeping.
• 2) Thais cannot be flustered - the attitude of Mai Pen Rai means they never worry, leave everything to the last minute and infuriate Westerners.
• 3) Thais are possibly colour blind - the system for colours in Thailand is ridiculous, for example the word for purple is the same as the word for mango.
• 4) Thais have no sense of rhythm - just try and get a class of Thai children to repeat a simple drum beat and you'll see what I mean. (I added, "I think their inability to tell time goes hand and hand with being unable to keep a beat. They have literally no perception of time whether it be a half-second or two hours. The next time I want to burn an hour lesson I'll try explaining Daylight Savings Time to them.")
• 5) Thais hate Thursdays - the word for Thursday is about 5 syllables longer than every other day - i think that it translates to "day that is shit and no where near as good as Friday"
• 6) Thais take pleasure in simple things - for example the I.T teacher at my school who loves Harry Potter. The only thing he wants in the world is a pair of Harry Potter glasses.
• 7) Thais are fascinated by blond hair - hence all the stairs I get from small children, old ladies and I.T teachers who love Harry Potter
• 8) Thais have never heard of the Nazi Party or Adolf Hitler - a man walked past me at a festival with the biggest Swastika on his tee-shirt that I have ever seen in my life and all my fellow teachers wondered why i looked like I had seen a ghost. When I tried to explain just why a man should never have a Swastika on his tee-shirt they shrugged their shoulders and said they didn't understand. Then they said Mai Pen Rai
• 9) All Thais support Liverpool - see a few months ago when the Thai national team played Liverpool and all the Thais in the crowd supported Liverpool.
• 10) Thai motorcyclists are fucking nuts!!! - in no other country in the world would you see a family of 4 plus shopping ride a motorcycle through a busy city at rush hour.
• 11) Thais are more than capable of wasting your time - such as by insisting that you go to a 3 hour orientation meeting and then conducting 2 and a half hours of it in Thai. They even told us that we could help ourselves to food in Thai, then wondered why none of the Westerners moved!
• 12) Thais believe that a straw is compulsory with any drink - which includes a large Chang beer, meaning that the straw will sink into the beer and inevitably choke you when you forget about it later.
• 13) Thais are not responsible enough to be allowed fireworks - no further explanation needed if you have seen the Thais swing a firework over their head and release at the last possible moment. Or if you have seen them launch over the heads of a large group of Westerners.
• 14) Thais believe that anything you buy should go into a carrier bag - whether that be a small bottle of coke, or something that is already in a bag. I brought a carrier bag with me to 7/11, put my shopping in it, the Thai clerk took the bag and put it inside of another bag!
• 15) Thais don't believe in prior warning - for example when they recently fumigated the school for mosquitos whilst I was still teaching a class.
• 16) Thais will rather pretend they know where something is rather than lose face - which is a little infuriating when numerous Thais send you all over Ayuttahya looking for a bus, only to have another Thai send you back in another direction.
• 17) Thais have only just received the Doris Day song Que Sera Sera - I wondered why all the children at my school were singing it, and I have been told that it is number 1 in the charts at the moment, after a group of children sang it on a popular Thai television show. (Amy added, "A co-worker told me it is so popular because it was recently featured here in a commercial for insurance. Under the principals direction, my students will be signing it for our school Christmas show next month. Instead of whatever-will be will be, I just say whatever.")
• 18) Thais believe that a bucket constitutes bathroom sanitation - however better the rest of Thai life may be compared to back home, using the bathroom in Thailand is not a pleasant experience.
• 19) Thais believe that if you can speak 20 words of Thai then you are fluent - the woman who runs the laundrette next door to my flat chats away to me in Thai everytime i see her, and i smile and nod and say "tchai krap" when prompted. The reason she does this is because I know the numbers and told her that i would come back to collect my laundry at "hok mon yen" (6pm)
• 20) There are at least 2 ladyboys in every single class - no idea why, that's just Thailand for you. It is really nice to see such acceptance from teenagers though.