(Aww...fuck it.)
So I feel like the first two entries have been mostly devoted to what we educators call "setting the context," something we were told to do ad nauseum throughout our training class. Now I'm ready to get into the nitty-gritty of a Thai classroom, but first, an amusing anecdote:
Last week I received a notice from my placement company that in order to get my work permit, they needed me to get a test for syphillis. At first I was a bit taken a back; I mean, I've had a good time in Thailand, but I didn't think it had gotten back to my bosses. Plus, I didn't believe there was any cause for concern to begin with, but then I realized that they had sent the email to all their employees. I'm kind of dumb sometimes, I know. Anyway, I needed to get tested for syphillis.
I needed to get a motorcycle taxi to the hospital, but I don't know the word for hospital; fortunately, living for almost three months in Thailand has taught me to be extremely creative. Thus I said in Thai, "When you're sick, you go to....." and the driver knew immediately what I wanted. Unfortunately, communicating with the uneducated driver who spoke no English was far easier than trying to communicate at the hospital.
I get to the hospital and try to tell them I need a blood test. I actually know the words for "blood test," but I'm bad at tones they had no idea what I was saying. Instead they kept asking me again and again what my symptoms were. I told them multiple times that I was healthy (another great example of things defined by what they are not in Thai, the literal translation of "sick" is "not well," therefore I couldn't very well say that I was not sick, or "not not well"). The Thai nurses would just say, "Ok. Ok. Ok." and ask me again if my arm was broken. Finally, after 45 minutes of this, they took me to see a doctor. In Thailand, medicine is only taught in English, so all Thai doctors are fluent in English. This particular one had been sitting in his office reading a newspaper for the entire 45 minutes, but whatever. Within two minutes, he had translated what I needed to the nurses and given the proper orders. An hour later, I had test results in hand (negative...BOO-YAH!) and was ready to go.
Classroom Management: I'm Occasionally an Asshole to my Students
I mentioned that many (sometimes 90%) of the students pay absolutely no attention, instead chatting among themselves, texting (or talking) on their cell phones, reading, etc. Most days in my lower-level classes, I just ignore these kids and simply teach the ones who want to learn. Last week I was in a particularly foul mood, and (it seemed) like the bad students were being especially noisy, so I declared emotional warfare on my students.
One of the odd nuances of Thai culture that westerners don't understand is the idea of losing face (respect). Thai's are deathly afraid of losing face and will go to unreasonable lengths to prevent this, especially when they involve doing the kinds of things that westerners would actually consider to cause loss of face. Rob's example of not knowing where something is, so instead pretending to know and sending you to the wrong place is a great example of this. The Thai nurses who pretended to understand what I was saying instead of saying "Mai Ca Jay" ("I don't understand") are another great example. The Thai children are the same when it comes to losing face so I'll occasionally exploit it.
One of the ways I do this is through a game called popcorn. I take a sheet of paper, wad it up into a ball, and toss it randomly over my shoulder. Whomever it hits, or whoever's desk it lands on has to stand up and speak the dialogue that I had been going over. If a class is misbehaving, I won't toss it randomly. Instead I'll ignore the worst troublemakers (while filing them away in my brain) and continue teaching. When it's time for the students to speak. I immediately chuck the ball at these kids. Then I make them come to the front of the classroom and speak the dialogue while the rest of the class is silent. Naturally, they have no idea what to say. Because these are the lower-level classes they can't read English either, so they're doubly-fucked. I then say to them (through the Thai teacher): "You were sitting in the back, yelling with your friends. I understand, you know this already. So you can teach the class." With the first kid or two, I usually drag these periods for as long as possible before I finally tell them what to say, or let the other students tell them what to say. After embarassing a few students, I begin to let the students choose who goes next. Thai students are even more sadistic than I am. They know who hasn't been paying attention and target them ruthlessly.
Another face-losing technique that I've used successfully is something that was used in my high school. I went to a catholic all-boys school where they believed that punishments should fit the crime. If someone was continually acting out in class, they would be forced to spend all of lunch sitting at the top of a ladder...in the middle of the cafeteria....with a sign around their neck that read, "I need attention." Granted this was rare, but it was effective as hell. I've used this twice and both times it has worked beautifully. I've made two boys move their desks to the front of the room, facing the rest of the class, and told the class, "Look at them. They need attention. Give them your attention." The Thai teacher doesn't even have to translate, everyone in that room knows what's going on. I love the reactions on the boys' faces. At first they try to play it off, like they find it's amusing, but after a minute of silence with 60 pairs of eyes beaming down on them, they cave....they always cave. One of the boys put his face into the desk and covered it with his hands.
This week, I was sick, so I wasn't going to try yelling above my classroom. Another, less potentially therapy-inducing method for getting the students to quiet down is to simply stand at the front and not say anything. This makes the students incredibly uncomfortable and they'll eventually shut up on their own. On Wednesday, my 2/8's were being obnoxiously loud despite the fact that I was going over what would be on the test next week. Frankly, I wanted to simply dismiss them completely and let them fail the test, but I noticed that about half the students were earnestly taking notes and paying attention. This particular classroom had the desks arranged in groups rather than rows, and 3 of the 6 clumps were good students (ironically enough, they were scattered randomly rather than the 3 closest to me). I felt bad about fucking these kids over, but I also didn't want to yell over everyone else. I came up with a good solution: I grabbed a sheet of notebook paper and wrote everything down on that rather than the chalk board. I then went to each group and went over the test with them, making sure they understood everything. I was prepared to do the same with any of the other 3 groups if they asked, but none of them even noticed. Sometimes favoritism is the best policy.
Teaching English to Students Who Don't Speak English
During our ATI sessions, we were given a very specific format to stick to when speaking English. We are supposed to use 4-line dialogues, demonstate the whole dialogue by yourself several times and then move onto working with students. I'm sure the method has worked in the past, but, at least with my kids, it's a steaming pile of shit. The teacher/teacher modeling involves the teacher physically moving back and forth to demonstrate the distinction between roles. I tried using the method once and my students just thought I was crazy; even worse, they were too busy laughing to pay attention to what the dialogue was and didn't know any of it. I do my own thing now.
As I've mentioned, I usually start with funny pictures and/or funny acting to catch the students' attention. Then I will write an individual vocabulary word on the board. I've been teaching advanced feelings to my 4's, so I would draw a cup of coffee with a skull and crossbones, then mime throwing up, to the students' delight, before writing "I feel disgusted" on the board. I then say the word(s) several times aloud and have the students repeat it back to me. If it's a particularly long word or features sounds they struggle with, I'll break it down and pronounce every syllable, and really exaggerate some sounds. Then I move onto the next word(s). Rinse and repeat.
(I'm not quite finished yet, but I feel bad for not posting in a while, so take it already Veronica Corningstone. I'll let you know when I update it.)
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